Two classically trained Vulgarians…One comic book podcast that needs it’s mouth washed out with soap.  You’ve entered the world of Chronic Insomnia; sleep well.

• We didn’t see our stinkin’ shadows, but we’re still gonna give you 6 more weeks of filth.  Now that’s a promise.
• Ryan explains how A$$ Acne and working out go hand and hand, which is better than two in the bush…Oh yeah Ryan ain’t seen no bush in a long time.  We all lose!
• Yeah we stayed up too late and the “Piracy Special” fell apart but we’re still here to rock your earlobes and lick your inner areas in this weeks exciting Chronic Insomnia.

“Best comic podcast on the internet, and I listen to a lot of them.”

-Ryan B, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode:

• “Will your LCS be on the side of The Avengers or X-Men?” , and other questions properly answered with “Who could possibly be arsed?”
• Bastion of purity Fox objects to titillating New 52!
• Judge Dredd artist Brett Ewins NOT the law, stabs officer. On a Saturday, no less!
• John Rozum sounds off on the reasons why he walked off Static Shock!
• Siuntres and Bendis advise podcasters to get some journalistic religion!
• Chronic Reviews: Deadpool 49.1, Voodoo # 5, TMNT # 6
• Previews: Dawn of the Jedi # 0, Alpha Girl # 1, Winter Soldier # 1

Don’t forget to check out our blog. Also make sure to tune into our northern neighbors Where Monsters Dwell if you want to hear a show that is done with integrity and some sense of taste.  We are none of these things.  Thanks for listening and we love the all of you.

“I want you guys to know that each week I am highly entertained and very glad there is a Chronic Insomnia.”

- Jesse Johnson, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

We shout out a bunch of podcasts: Comic Book Savant, The Mean Geek, The Death of Comics, Comic Vine, Comic Book Noise, Raging Bullets, Fight For Comics, Chronic Insomnia, The Uncanny X-Cast, Non-Canonical, The Watchtower, Listen To Jimmy and The Pull List.

Two giant jackasses. One absurd comic book podcast

In this incredible episode:

• · Chronic Crew infected with nasty virus, country infected with Tebow Fever! Mike tests Ryan with a special Bathroom Noise Identification Quiz!
• · Batman adds “Owl” backup and an extra $1.00 per issue, and other items that make us realize that what is new is old again!
• · Multi-media news for Hack/Slash, Powers, and Thor 2!
• · As pundits continue to sing us a swan song, Diamond adds Chris Powell to the mix!
• · Chronic Reviews: Activity # 2, Avengers Academy # 24, Last of the Greats # 4, Green Lantern # 5, Nowehere Man # 1!
• · Chronic Previews: Hellblazer # 287, Journey Into Mystery HC Vol 1 hardcover, Prophet # 21!

For more Chronic Insomnia check out our blog here.  We also have great friends and we want to pimp them out so click here for more info on the greatest radio show in the great white north, Where Monsters Dwell.  Now with 300% more syndication.

“You guys are two giant douche bags!”  – Uncle Joe

In this incredible episode:

• Hitch countdown reveals America’s Got Powers!
• Join us as we travel Ryan’s Chocolate Whiz Way!
• John Byrne’s planetary retirement plans, and other evidence our little niche is entirely populated with entertaining nut jobs!
• Marvel takes top spot from DC, but not so sure about that “paying human rates for mutant action figures” business!
• Super Chronic Review:  Fatale # 1!
• Chronic Preview:  Whispers # 1!

“Guys, I’m *%$#@ loving the show.  Keep pumping that good stuff all over each other and into the mircophones.”

-         Pete from Sydney, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two gentile jackasses. One impossibly absurd dreidel spinning podcast.

This week:

• · The history of Hannukah, and a last minute gift idea for you ladies that will be a guaranteed hit with your man!
• · Mitch Gerads braves the City Slightly North of the One God Forgot in Source Signing!
• · DC offers customizable FCBD comic, Marvel offers two issues of Captain America in same week!
• · What if Brian Hibbs solved the “Comics Sales Problem” and nobody noticed?
• · The Activity # 1, Memorial # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“You never know what’s going to come out of these guy’s mouths, and it’s usually hilarious, vulgar, and awesome!”

- Jimmy Quentin Trapp, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Cody Carey shows us the fate of Ryan’s pillow in this wonderful YouTube video.  If you like laughing this is for you

This week:

• The return of Valiant Comics, and other items that illustrate the fatal industry error of looking behind instead of forward!
• Mark Millar whispers apocalyptic murmurs, which Ryan relates as steroid infused Scottish shouting!
• JMS inexplicably chimes in on ASM, Wacker whacks back, and then Sherriff Waid lays down the contractually obligated spur janglin’ law!
• The magic of Virginia Tech, and Sam Bradford’s demonic left eye!
• Carnage USA # 1, The Strain # 1, Witchblade # 150, Journey Into Mystery # 632, Star Wars: Agent of the Empire: Iron Eclipse # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“I listen to about 35hrs of podcasts a week at work, and your show is by far my favorite. The other guys in the shop I work at are always curious as to why I am teared up, laughing so hard.”

- Eric Paeltz, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two giant jackasses. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• It’s Coming…who will be sucker enough to be there?
• Digital Revolution, starring Marvel coupons and the Dark Horse two-step!
• Dead or Alive # 1, Irredeemable # 32, Thought Bubble!, Luther Strode #3
• Previews: The Strain #1, Memorial #1, Uncanny X-Force #18

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Michael LaMere and Ryan Carstensen describe their show as “the most absurd comic book podcast,” which might be true but it may also be the funniest.

- James Ninness, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

This week:

• Twilight sends heterosexual male to the hospital, and other things that really ought not surprise you!
• Police drop charges against Phoenix Jones!
• Man finds $12,000 comic in attic, and Action # 1 closes at 2.1M!
• Peter David creates Fan/Pro bill of convention rights, sets Mike and Ryan into a blood red battle rage!
• Daredevil # 6, Spider-Man Holiday Special, Shinku # 3!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Love you guys. Its like I finally found the voices in my head, and they were podcasting in the city that god forgot. Gotta thank Where Monsters Dwell for leading me to your site.”

- David James Miller, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two jive turkeys.  One completely absurd Thanksgiving podcast special.

• Booty Pop gone wrong – the incredible story of Oneal Ron Morris!
• Details on DCs deal with Amazon!
• Image braves Oakland in February Expo!
• Bob Layton takes some parting shots at the House of Mouse!
• Ryan and Mike battle head-to-head reading the Batman “Which Way” adventure The Doomsday Prophecy!  Which man leads the Dark Detective to victory?

Always more Chronic available at the blog.

“And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew. 
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, ‘thank you for being a friend’”.  Ryan Lee (not some cheesy 80’s sitcom theme song)

Two mouthbreathers.  One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Frank Millar says “Occupy this!”, world implodes.
• X-23 is cancelled, and other things that should not surprise, alarm, or offend you!
• Supergirl # 3,  Avengers Academy # 22!
• Price is Right Previews:  Astonishing X-Men # 44, Unwritten # 31.5, A Child is Born!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Just a quick email to say that your show #@&$%! rules.  Never a dud episode.”

- Pete from Sydney, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two mouthbreathers. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Mike tries to set Ryan up with Grace Park, Mickey Rourke on AOTS, Jerry Sandusky, and other failures!
• Marvel cancels Nick Spencer’s Doom mini-series before it starts!
• DC takes over the joint in DCnU month two!
• Marvel goes same day digital, and other items that demonstrate the House of Ideas is lagging behind the pack!
• British Star Wars fan goes “Anakin in the youngling tank” on his wife!
• Point One, Magneto: No Hero # 1, House of Night # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“…you guys make an amazing team, you can tell that a lot of effort goes into it… it always sounds like you’re having fun making the show and you never fail to have me giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl throughout.”

- Comic Tube Vikki, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

This week:

• Rude Dude thrown in hoosegow over barking dogs!
• Is new Metropolis series a reality?
• The Superheroes of Occupy Wall Street, and other things so lame LARPers are able to point and laugh!
• Vintage Audio of Mike & Ryan’s 1987 Halloween skit!
• Super awesome listener mail from…The City Slicker!
• Uncanny X-Men # 1,Witch Doctor # 4, Luther Strode # 2, Fleshdigger # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Thank you guys for coming back and making 3000 word essays tolerable. Even if I vomit in my mouth a bit.”

- Brittany Lorraine, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two big fat jerks. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• A strange about face on Phoenix Jones!
• Alice Cooper or Vince Neil? Ryan makes his choice.
• Miracle Keith reveals Ariel Sharon’s secret pact with Satan.
• Watchmen 2? Yes, Watchmen 2. Again. Insert inappropriately aggressive emotional response here!
• Comixology sneaking into digital comics monopoly?
• Wolverine & The X-Men # 1, Spaceman # 1, Stitched # 1!
• Price Is Right Previews: Fear Agent # 32, Our Love Is Real, Shame Itself!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Shiner bock beer and an episode of Chronic Insomnia make for one helluva a night!  Great show as always.”

- Bob Bird, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two big fat jerks.  One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Dark Horse to tell origin of the Jedi Order, and other things we’re way more excited about than we ought to be!
• Animal apocalypse in Ohio and ranting about Occupy Wall Street!
• Grant Morrison threatens the most kinktacular Wonder Woman book ever in 2012 or thereabouts!
• Danny Way about to put the dead in Deadpool???
• Metro Mike & the triumphant return of Neal Adams Theater!
• Star Trek/Legion # 1, Journey Into Mystery # 629, Xenoholics # 1!
• Price is Right Previews:  Spaceman # 1, Voodoo # 2, Witch Doctor # 4, Incredible Hulk # 1

Always more Chronic available at the blog!  You can also check out our good friends from Canada at Where Monsters Dwell! 

“About 30mins in, I had to start the podcast again from the beginning
because I’d almost p!$$ed myself laughing and wanted to hear it again,
right away…”

                                         – Pete from Sydney, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two big fat jerks.  One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Marvel to offer free digital copy with each $3.99 book?
• Barnes & Noble pulls DC books off the shelves over Kindle exclusivity!
• Phoenix Jones bumped for assault, pepper sprays Eastern European whore!
• Wonder Woman finally gets daddy issues in November!
• Warren Ellis pops off about DCs September numbers, and other things we find amusing that also require elucidation!
• Orchid # 1, Uncanny X-Force # 16, Bagirl # 2!
• Price Is Right Previews!  Catwoman # 2, Hellblazer # 284, Cold War # 1 and Monocyte # 1.

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“I’m LOVING your return to the airwaves. My sensitive parts became much less chafed during your hiatus, so that’s my version of making lemonade outta lemons and shit like that.”

                        – Irish Mike McLarty, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

This week:

• Check out the Chronic Crew in Josh Rodgers’ “Slaughter Lake”!
• Week In Poop: Toto’s new Toilet Bike Neo!
• Holy crap, did Holy Terror get torn a new chute, and other things we find funny around here!
• Can Steve Unemployment get Apple back on track?
• Morrison sounds off on late books and the burgeoning Didio crisis!
• Wait…is there a Crisis? Continuity takes another direct hit to the dirt button!
• December reveals Edmondson & Gerads top secret Activity!
• X-Men: Schism # 5, Last of the Greats # 1, Avengers 1959 # 1, The Strange Talent of Luthor Strode #1!
• Previews: Unexpected # 1, X-Men: Regenesis# 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“You two turds make me want to take the gun barrel out of my mouth while I’m at work for an hour or so every week, so I really appreciate it.”

- Detroit Dave, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two big fat jerks. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Catwoman & Starfire are dirty, dirty whores, plus other things we don’t mind!
• X-23 jumps to Avengers Academy!
• Patton Oswalt melts down over DC Nielsens!
• Marvel unleashes Point One .1! No, we’re not kidding!

• Firestorm # 1, Dungeons & Dragons # 11, New Mutants # 31!
• Previews: Blood Red Dragon, Last of the Greats # 1, Kult # 3!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Holocaust humor, smegma, and blasphemy – my kind of show. Great episode, guys, you made me laugh out loud!”

- Moni Bolis, re Chronic Insomnia # 189

Two big fat jerks. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Would you believe…yet more news about poop? Who poops?
• John Rozum walks the Static Shock plank!
• Marvel breaks its own made up and unsubstantiated digital record!
• Star Wars MMO allows you to be H-O-M-O!
• Galactus gets a new gay herald!
• Batman # 1, Wonder Woman # 1, Star Trek # 1, Nick Spencer’s X-Men # 1!
• Previews: Justice League Dark, I Vampire, Firestorm, Brilliant!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“…you guys are just the best, seriously – I was listening to your Easter episode on the bus today and I got so many strange looks as I was literally laughing so hard I nearly pee’d my pants!”

- Vikki Wooton, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two big fat jerks creating the world’s most absurd comic book podcast!

This week:

• Is Peter North living inside of Ryan’s eyes?
• It’s a DCnU world, and Marvel is barely making rent – Captain America torqued enough to grab a shotgun!
• Panda Poop!
• Comics Conspiracy performs world’s quickest backpedal!
• Grifter # 1 and Frankenstein # 1!
• 27: Second Set # 1!
• Fear Itself # 6!
• Now on Thursdays!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

 “I come back week after week mainly because it is fun to hear two good friends shoot the shit and allow others to witness a rare lifelong friendship.”

- Jesse Johnson, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia